Sometimes I think that I am the one that holds us back. I think that I am the problem. And I don’t even know why I can’t be honest with you. I know the feelings are there. It’s obvious. But you think I don’t know what I want, and sometimes I am afraid that you may be right. But how will we ever know what can be between us if I don’t take the leap. I know I am hot and cold, but I think you could be the one to help me. I can’t explain what I mean. But somewhere I just know that it can work. For some reason I feel like you have the patience and understanding to help me be unafraid of whatever it is that I am scared of. I never knew someone like you, and it may seem like I don’t know what I want but I do know. There is some pull that you have on me, and I know you think that it’s just the idea of us that I like more than the reality of it, and I know what happened in the past. But that was the past, this is now, and right now you are pulling on my heart. I know it seems confusing, and I don’t mean to appear so hot and cold, it’s just that I have never been able to let my guard down, but for you I want to try. You just have to help me, you just have to show me how. I know you feel it. So where do we go from here?
Ink stains my hands, leaving a constellation of marks across my skin. These are the hands of a writer ~ at least that’s what I call myself in these moments of separation from the rest of the world. Here, I am in charge, and I control what is written and expressed. In these sacred parts of the day I exist for no one but myself and I write simply for the pleasure of writing. There is something calming about the sound and feel of a pen gliding across paper, as the smell of ink registers in my brain, leaving a trail of words – my words, my heart.
Writing can be brief or it can take hours. We can slave over just one word or the words can spill out in a perfect formation. Writing, whether we know what for or why we do it, leaves us feeling complete – whole. It is a unifying experience and it is a snapshot of who we are in that moment of that day. So we have to remember to take the time and write something down everyday, even if it’s the simplest sentence, because the simplest sentence holds the promise of becoming something more.
What does it mean to be a creative person? For some, it comes in the form of a lyric, a poem, a painting, or a melody. While all different, and while each involves skills that may not be transferable from one form to the next, passion is always constant. The passion and the desire, or rather the need to create, allows us to expose something about ourselves. Being creative lets us use our hands, our mind, and our heart to build something out of nothing. But what makes this need to create so strong in some of us? I think that in order to function, in order to be the best version of who we are, we have to show the world and ourselves what’s inside. In the process of creating we discover about life and more about the internal. Being creative peels back the layers, and it gets to the core of who we are. Even if we don’t always know what the final result will be, there is something therapeutic and freeing about exposing pieces of our life. So find what motivates you and turn it into something creative, because you never know what you might learn about yourself along the way.