Don’t Be Afraid

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Don’t be afraid of the red

Don’t be afraid of the line that

Separates today from tomorrow

Your life is merely an instant

A beautiful and simple moment in time

Where you experience an enormity of emotions

There are moments you want to hold on to forever

You know the ones

Those purest moments of happiness

The ones you replay in your head

The ones that you sink into while you sleep

Hold on to that happiness

Let it wrap around you

 

 

Now What

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Sometimes I think that I am the one that holds us back. I think that I am the problem. And I don’t even know why I can’t be honest with you. I know the feelings are there. It’s obvious. But you think I don’t know what I want, and sometimes I am afraid that you may be right. But how will we ever know what can be between us if I don’t take the leap. I know I am hot and cold, but I think you could be the one to help me. I can’t explain what I mean. But somewhere I just know that it can work. For some reason I feel like you have the patience and understanding to help me be unafraid of whatever it is that I am scared of. I never knew someone like you, and it may seem like I don’t know what I want but I do know. There is some pull that you have on me, and I know you think that it’s just the idea of us that I like more than the reality of it, and I know what happened in the past. But that was the past, this is now, and right now you are pulling on my heart. I know it seems confusing, and I don’t mean to appear so hot and cold, it’s just that I have never been able to let my guard down, but for you I want to try. You just have to help me, you just have to show me how. I know you feel it. So where do we go from here?

Choices

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We all have a choice.  We all have that choice to live, to open our eyes every morning and step into the world.  And with this choice, comes the possibility to make a mess, to love, to lose, and dream.  Really, as cliche as this sounds, you are free to do what you wish.  I think what scares most people is the uncertainty of all these things; but you know what, I think the uncertainty is what makes our existence so special.  We aren’t supposed to know, we are just supposed to move forward – and have faith that we will arrive at our destination.

I guess what I am asking is that you don’t hold your breath through life.  You’ll be amazed at how much easier and peaceful life is when you just let it happen, when you can accept the messy, crazy moments.  A lot of times these unpredictable moments and chance encounters leave us with a clearer vision of what our life means.  I think a lot of us become so distracted by things that don’t really matter, and we forget to focus on what’s important – ourselves.  We need to be okay with the fact that every tiny detail cannot be controlled, and they shouldn’t have to be.  Honestly, it takes a lot more than most think to break us down.

Walking In and Out

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So I was just thinking the other day – you know about life and the people who walk in and out of it. It’s funny how you think you’ll be friends with someone forever, without really understanding what “forever” means.  I think we like to kid ourselves – not in a bad way, more subconsciously kid ourselves into saying and believing in “forever.”  It makes sense though, because who wants to think about the possibility of someone meaningful not being there the next day?

But what also goes along with people walking out, are those the pass within our reach as well.  No one can leave without first walking in, and maybe this is why I am sitting here typing away.  I think we forget about those moments where people can unexpectedly walk in – even if just for a moment.

I think in the midst of life’s confusing moments, conversation calms the storm.  Earlier this week I had the opportunity to talk with someone who gave me perspective – a way to see my life through a new lens.  First of all, I am by no means unhappy with where I am at in life, but I guess you could say I am more wandering with no particular end point. So we kind of had an informational meeting about life…about decisions that need to be made and about the possibilities that are before me. It’s refreshing how a conversation can change how you feel, especially with a stranger.  I don’t really know what it is about talking to someone new – maybe it’s because they literally have no idea who you are and they have no preconceived idea of what type of individual you may be – but I always seem to come away feeling better.

So…basically the whole notion of walking in and out…of people slipping by and wandering in unexpectedly.  I guess all I can say is this: no matter your opinion on their importance, both are inevitable and both teach you how to deal with the beautiful strangeness of life.

Not Alone

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You can’t let them see you this way

You can’t let them win

So pick yourself up and remember

Why you laugh

Why you live

Stop worrying about the possibility of failure

Raise yourself up

Fill your life with memories that make

You forget the lost and lonely yesterdays   

Create your own reality

Where what is real

Frees the sadness you carry

Please remember that you are

Not alone

Dismiss Your Fears

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Dismiss your fears

For there will come a time when you will

Really live

Dismiss them before they

Pull you down

Before they consume you

Before you are unable to let go.

Dismiss your fears

And open your mind.

Open yourself up to the

Possibilities

Of a life where fear does not

Tell you which way to turn.

Only when you let them

Slip away

Will you truly

Live.

Promise Me This

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Listen to your music loud. Read as many books as you can and travel to as many far off places imaginable. Live. Experience. Enjoy life. Love every moment of it. Drive in the fast lane every once in a while. Get lost. Find yourself. Take a journey somewhere. Anywhere will do. Just go. Promise yourself that you will have no regrets, and make every second mean something. Love deeply and passionately. Be loved in return deeply and passionately. Be confident in your life, you’ll know if you are. Don’t lie to yourself or to others. Trust your gut feeling on almost everything, except always eat that last bite of dessert. Go to concerts with your best friends. Stay out late and dance until you think your feet will fall off. Trust me they won’t so keep dancing. Dedicate your life to happiness. Now go and live.

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I Dream of There…

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I dream of There.  I dream because I can.  I dream because nothing can stop me.  I control every moment and I create every second.  I dream because dreaming takes me to places that I never thought I could go.  Until the yearning for distant places has subsided I’ll continue to dream.  I’ll continue to imagine myself learning new languages and seeing new sights.  I’ll dream endless things and endless adventures.  I can hear the sounds from afar and with every second that I dream I am one step closer to my reality.  There will always be some new place, some new unexplored part of the world that is awaiting my arrival. Dreaming of There is personal.  It connects me to a part of my soul that craves the unknown.  I dream of There, and I think I always will.

Don’t Ask, Cause I Don’t Know

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Seriously, please don’t ask, because I don’t know.  The dreaded question, and probably the number one question we all hear at one point in our young lives.  I mean I have an idea, we all do, but the real question is whether or not my wants will come to fruition.  So what is it you ask?  I’ll tell you if I must… “So what do you want to do with your life?”  God I don’t know how many times I’ve heard that question, and if I cared at all to answer I might know the number.

 

Ask me the question, and you’ll get a look of disgust. A look that says, are you kidding me? Do you know that you are the five-hundredth person to ask me that?  To you who brave asking me, I say “living,” because honestly that’s what I’m doing.  I’m living, taking it one day at a time.  If I spent every waking moment thinking about what I wanted to do with my life, I’d be stuck in a cycle of disappointment.  I’m sure we’ve all wanted something so badly in our lives it hurt – something that we tell ourselves we would do anything to get.  But how many of us actually take that desire a step further?  How many of us take the necessary steps to escape this question?  My guess is very few.

 

So right now I’m living.  That’s really the best we can do.  I’m not saying that I don’t look to change where I’m at.  Goals are healthy; I think they push us along in life.  They challenge us, they ignite a spark.  But when you are consistently asked these types of questions, you honestly just want to walk the other way.  I swear, I should have a shirt that reads: No, I’ll let you know when I do, thanks for asking.

For now, I’ll keep taking it day by day.  I’ll keep waking up every morning, happy that I am able to share my life with those I love.  Until the day comes that I know what I’m doing is what I’m meant to do, I’ll just be thankful for what I have now.  I’ll keep exploring until I stumble on my perfect life, but please until this day of greatness comes, don’t ask me what I’m doing, because I don’t know.

A Comment on Memories

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Memories. Perhaps some of the greatest ways we can experience the past.  Whether in a sound, a smell or sight, when our memories are triggered we are transported to a moment we wanted to capture forever.

It could be the melody of a song that brings you back to adventures shared with your best friends in Ireland or it could be the perfect recreation of sound as you hear the echos of your uncle’s contagious laughter.  Whatever happens to spark your memories, they each act as a linking to the past.  They connect us to other times and places, with people who have held importance in our lives.  Memories are forever.  They are a lasting impression of where we have been and what we have done.  They are the one constant we can reach toward to bring us back when we have drifted from happiness.